Wednesday, 27 January 2010


I guess this isn't a new thing - in fact I've been aware of the need to change my behaviour on this for a long time.

Listening to this a week or so, I was reminded of the destructive nature of judging. Especially when it is the type of judging that results in condemnation. I'm not talking about our national legal systems, but our everyday judging of situations, circumstances & ourselves.
"You'll never make it"

"You're no good"

"I'm just always going to fail at this"
I've come to appreciate that, now I'm in my very early Thirties, I'm much slower to conclude that everyone else is wrong and I am (once again) correct. I might talk a good game, that I am right all the time, but I am definitely more aware of when to let things go and see if my judgement was right before declaring it to be the end of the matter. Maybe that's an age thing.

Some might say I'm not getting better at this, but we'll just have to see.

I still remember speaking to a manager at work about family stuff and saying "I can't stand Disney". And I can't. It's true. It drives me crazy. However, that's not what the person was asking about. They were about to tell me about the amazing experience they had with their family - at Disneyland. Oops.

We laughed about my outburst of anti-Walt vitriol (it wasn't *that* bad, honest) and all was well. But the lesson was learned. Actually, Disney isn't bad. Judging that everyone who goes to Disney is vain or empty-headed is just plain wrong. For some people, it's the greatest place on earth.

I just don't think that's me.

So what's this all about? Well, my heart wants my head to be wise. Wisdom comes from understanding - rather than linear thought patterns (which in my experience is how judging can be manifest).

How can I be wise - maybe by seeking to understand what is going on and why. And then looking to see what someone needs to help with that.

Do I see an asylum seeker as a hanger-on or as a person who needs as much grace as I do?

Can I believe that I can do things with music again after a (necessary) quiet period? It's easy to say "where's the time", "who cares about what you have to offer" and "there's no point".

But there's more to life than what we can see with our eyes - and there's more to circumstances than them simply unfolding just like they used to. Too much time can be wasted judging the minutiae of life and I forget just to live it...

How are you at discerning? How can we get better at it?

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