Back from wherever

It's usually good to take time out from something you enjoy, just every once in a while.

To get a fresh perspective, I sometimes need to get out of the instant connection to a thing. 

Often a wee lateral thinking game can help change your perspective or look at a thing differently. But, to break out of a rut of giving way too much focus to the minutiae of the digital connection I had across multiple platforms, I needed to switch off a few things and focus my finite attention in other places.

It wasn't about shunning people or technology. Or about trying to be better than anyone. Nope. It was about focus and attention. You guys are great, but you aren't the source of love, hope, grace or peace that I need to more than just survive.

And now I'm back. And so what, I hear you say. Who cares?

So what happened? What did I learn? What mysteries have been brought to light? What creative genius has been sparked?

To be honest; not a lot.

Actually, that's not true. Mrs theWeir and I have had a pile of good times. And I finally sorted out calendar sharing so we know what's going in without having to have a daily meeting. Not that we ever did. Which may have been part of a wider thing.

But no matter.

I also cleared up my to-do list and work email box. Both down to zero before we went on holiday. Some hard decisions had to be made about priorities, but a fixed end date and a strong desire to not change it meant things got done that needed done.

Even better was being away in another part of our beautiful country, being a wee family unit, seeing friends, doing relaxed-pace things and getting to take some pictures.

Having a suspected shin-splint put a swift halt to my running for a few weeks too. Which was quickly replaced by finding longer (and quicker) cycling routes to work.

And I found other things to take the place of reading a Facebook timeline or Twitter feed every few hours. 

Then I started playing Angry Birds.

I'd love to write this and say that I made a more concerted effort to pray and listen for God speaking as I read the bible. And while I certainly did more of both things, there was no earnest early mornings.

But I did pray more. And I certainly read more. But I think I have been listening more. Actually I'd say I'm listening the same, but I'm listening for something different. For a still small voice.

As I re-engage with social media, I'm praying I keep listening. Keep putting God first. You guys are great. But He is greater.

Grace and peace.

Scars

Scars are a funny thingI was looking at my hands the other day and noticed that not only are they showing their use with plenty of lines and crease

Maybe I need to moisturise. Which always makes me think of this scene from Ocean's Eleven:



Or maybe not.

There are marks on my hands from incidents I can remember as far back as 1988. Which isn't that far, but given I was 9 years old, that's not too bad.

Nope, scars are okay. They remind us of the life we've lived. Of what we've been carried through, or just survived.

And if they're really impressive, they might earn a little kudos. But that's less likely.

Vote. Again.

Last year, I was on the cusp of becoming all politically focussed and all that.

While I've always had an interest in politics (thank you Mrs Smith and Modern Studies), I get fed up with hyperbole. Ironic, innit?

I cast my vote through the medium of Royal Mail this year, first time and all that. It was with a little trepidation that I clicked on the link from Gareth that pointed towards the Scottish Vote Compass, answered a few questions and BOOM. I saw my political preferences summarised in a couple of tasty charts.

While some (I'm looking at you Mike McQuaid) may contest the viability of such a short set of issue-related questions being enough to state political preference with complete infallibility, it's a nice wee bit of fun and got me thinking about the issues.

So much of the coverage (other than Brian's excellent blog) has been about the leaders and their charisma. Or lack of it.

Here's my results.

How they related to my ballot papers I won't say.

But it was interesting nonetheless.

Especially given that the pdf downloaded from the site contained a different (and less engaging) chart:

And also this:

I like that the star indicating where I am on the economic & social circle is almost dead centre. Kinda says "come and get me, candidates, I'm a moderate...".

Where did you end up?

we don't have a clue what's going on.

The future. The undiscovered country. "Next".

As I read it today, I loved this cartoon on the XKCD: Future Timeline. It's an image showing top-ranked Google search results of predictions/claims for each year until 2101. I won't post the image here as it's *way* too big.

If we're honest, we're all control freaks - to a greater or lesser extent. I've come to this conclusion in recent days after conversations with loads of people. More often than not we want to be in charge. That might be through simply understanding what is happening, or by literally being in control of what is going on. I know I am guilty of this a lot of the time.

But what struck me as I chuckled through Future Timeline was that we really have no idea what's next.

Sure, we knew there was a lot of fuss being made about a wedding last week. We knew that there was a sunrise and a sunset. But we didn't really expect to see news reports like this, this or this.

I guess during the last few weeks, it's been all too apparent what it means to have faith. To trust that God is good and that his Love (and Mercy) endures forever. To believe that He is able to do things in and through us that we just can't do on our own. Like cope. Or overcome. Or keep walking. Or stand when there's nothing left to stand on.

And faith comes through hearing. What I hear impacts what I believe. For sure. But I'm not blindly following, but humbly listening for the voice of the Father. He speaks. Often I'm not listening. Often I'm too caught up in what might be, what needs to be done, what seems to be important. This turtle cartoon speaks right to the heart of that. If I loose a file on a computer, is it really that important?

Maybe tomorrow we can walk on water. Who knows. I'm not worrying about it. Because that won't change a thing.

As a friend once said; "every breath is mercy".

Keep breathing.

100 at 8:30

On Tuesday this week, I took blipfoto number 100 for my daily photography experiment, eightthirty.

Sometimes they are good shots, sometimes they are average. A little bit like life.

I'm aware that the blog here has been a little neglected as a result of my focus over there (and having other things to do in life), but I really enjoy the discipline of taking a shot every day to tell the story of that moment, that day or how I'm doing.

Check out eightthirty here.

Give us your courage

In the last week, I've heard, read and watched a few things all about courage.

I re-watched the edition of Top Gear where the three protagonists drove through some of the most perilous conditions in Central America in fairly dubious vehicles. Say what you like about these guys, but it will have taken courage to drive in those conditions. Even if there were a support crew not all that far away.

Then at church on Sunday, we were challenged to consider what it means to have courage in your convictions. To stand for what (and who) you believe in. In that context, we were looking at Paul talking about the Hope of Glory - not simply an eternal thing, but a here and now thing. Courage it seems, is a lot easier when you have hope. Hope that God has your back.

Later on Sunday, I watched The Kite Runner. As is usual for me at the moment, there were tears. But there was also the appreciation of great storytelling and the need for courage in the face of injustice. And in the face of out-and-out fear. What makes people overcome that fear? Is it shame? Is it a need to make things right?

Then I saw this Indexed card yesterday.

There's often a courage needed to choose to not complain, but to learn.

To stop and listen (as the playgroup teachers encourage the weeWeir to do when they would like her attention).

And then the courage to take that learning and deliver something exceptional.

Like a life filled with hope.

Or a word of grace when it would be easier to shout and bawl.

To get back on the bike and go for it after we've fall off.

It's so often easier to just walk away.

But that's not going to help anyone in the long term. Is it?

Access no areas

At 7.30 one morning last year, I arrived at work and pressed my ID badge up against the reader. Nothing strange there.

Except, nothing happened. No green light, no revolving door. Nothing. The thin red light shone as bright as before.

I did the usual human trick of trying the same thing again (but turned the badge over). That was bound to work.

Nothing happened again. Same little red stripe of light looking at me dispassionately. (This was the right building, thanks for asking). And I wasn't made redundant the previous working day. Was I?

Something was clearly wrong. So I tried two other doors and the same thing.

On the way to the security guard I got to thinking. Have I been "deleted"? If the events of the previous two weeks are anything to go by, then anything is possible. There were a load of people put at risk of redundancy, but I wasn't one of them.

The experience got me thinking about what it means to have access.

And what it means to give access. Who has access to you? Who do I give access to my inner thoughts. My wife, my friends, my parents?

Should just anyone have access to me? Is it better to isolate and avoid all the hassle? Probably not.

Aren't we born for relationship? We thrive in community settings - particularly when those are spaces of grace and make room for diversity.

It's either that or isolated introversion (is there any other kind?). That often leads to a calloused heart. Which we could all do without, I'm sure.

Eight Thirty

After a few people suggesting I should get involved, I started to blip on my birthday.

I intend to post pictures taken at or as close to 8:30 each day (am or pm). I'm hoping it will be one way to express my three words for the year and also to get my thinking about photos more.

The blip journal is imaginatively entitled eightthirty. Such creativity...

Do you blip?

(The Meaning of Life - 10) = today

I have been blessed with many gifts today.

Air in my lungs, for a start. A beautiful family. A warm, dry place to live and a fun pace to work too.

Loads of Birthday greetings on my Facebook page. Thank you for each and everyone of them.

I got to spend some time with Henry today, for the first time in years. It was great to see him and share stories.

Life is always better with stories.

Some friends sent some fertiliser to South America on my behalf today too. Which was nice. But Oxfam told me where the gift was being given and the impact it had. Through the farmer's story.

Mrs theWeir made some glorious cake (though, technically, I have had that for a couple of days now). Sharing the cake with some folks has led to sharing stories. (Sorry, Mum, it may be all gone by the end of the night).

I got a wide array of gifts too. They made it into my first Blipfoto entry today.

But what really struck me today was Henry saying "wow, I didn't recognise you". It was a bit of a gift.

Why?

I don't want to be a carbon copy of myself year after year. I want to grow. I want to mature. If I don't then perhaps I'm not fully alive.

Being alive is really important.

Liam reminded me of these words last night:

"This is your life, are you who you want to be?". I think that today, I am more of the person I want to be than I was yesterday. How about you?

(here's the band playing the track in session)

it'll only take a minute (and other excuses we tell ourselves)

When out doing a workshop at a local High School in December, I sat down at the computer workstation to perform a short series of simple tasks:

Insert USB memory stick;

Locate specific slideshow;

Launch that file;

Display the slideshow.

Easy. Quick. Done in a few seconds. Then I noticed the workstation. It looked like the picture above.

Other than when in the office at work, or working at home, most casual computing (searching for something, connecting on Twitter or Facebook, playing an online game) is done in an iPhone or iPad. So, I would usually only sit down at a computer to do a longer list of tasks. I would also make sure I was in a good sitting position.

But it wasn't always like that. I used to open the Powerbook just to check something and then still be there an hour later, locked in the same position. How many of us have thought "I'll just go on and do this wee thing and find ourselves off on a Google rabbit trail, or remembering there were 7 other things we *needing* to do on the computer. Funny that.

So it struck me looking at this workstation in a school classroom that when I next sit down to do anything for anytime, make sure you are sitting comfortably. Then you can begin. And have any hope of getting up again without a chiropractor...

Three Words

I love you. (mostly)

Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. (please do)

Drink TAB Clear* (eh?).

But this isn't about any of those sets of three.

Nope, this is about 2011. It's the first day of a new year and I'm not making resolutions, or rules I want to stick to in the year ahead. Rules for the sake of it aren't very life-giving. Inspired by what Chris wrote, here's my three:

Alive - Moments of life often slip by without noticing. Perhaps it's been the recent weather, holiday from work and Christmas season that's seen my watch more TV, do very little exercise and generally become a little passive. I'll be deleting a couple of games from my iPhone and hoping to be far more present - more alive in THIS moment. I owe it to people to be present and fully alive.

Growth - It's time to get some growing done again. 2010 felt like a season of pruning and maintenance. This will impact all of life, it's time to fail fast, learn and GROW. I'm hopeful there will be a physical sign of this in the garden at home too.

Proactive - Reacting is cool. Being flexible and helpful is great. I love it. But it's time to lead a little more. Not because I think I'm all that. Or that I've earned some right to do it, but it's just time for being more forward and less wait-and-see.

And that's me. Now to get some SMART goals and see what happens next.

What are your three words? Can you help me develop these three?

Grace and Peace for the journey.

W

* This is a reference to a claim that if you played the 1976 hit Combine Harvester by The Wurzels backwards, it said those three words...

All Change.

Earlier this year, Jenny, Beth and I moved house. It's been a stunning move and we are grateful every day for this new home. I've also been privileged enough, in the midst of significant organisational change at work, to get a new role.

It's not been an easy process to walk through, thinking about leaving a great team, trying to create a CV that told my story in an engaging way and thinking about the opportunities in my current role to have good fun producing some good work, but I was feeling like it was part of this season of change we are walking through.

One if the biggest things I want to take with me in this role is that just because ive been offered something new, doesn't mean I've made it. It doesn't mean I have it all figured out. I'm just joining a new team to continue my learning.

It's been fun reminding myself that im not all that (whatever that is!).

A wise friend once said "never believe your own press" and that's very true. Never take too much out of what people say about you. Recognise who you really are and how much we can all grow.

That said, I'm still excited by what's next.

There's a flag flying high.

I can remember the first time I heard a Brooke Fraser song. It was Shadowfeet, from the album Albertine and I heard it on a commercial radio station while touring the South Island of New Zealand.

Unbeknownst to us, a friend had bought us the album as a gift for our arrival in the country - we went to visit them a couple of weeks later.

In my view, Albertine is a great album with some stunning moments that still speak into a deep place in my spirit.

Fast forward four years (!) and there's a new album from Ms Fraser. I'd been following the development of the album on twitter & Facebook and was keen to hear the final product, but avoided the sneak peeks on line. I like to hear the whole piece in context, rather than just bits...

I was completely blown away.

The quality of songwriting is staggeringly high. The performances captured on the recordings are true to the material, being beautifully arranged and produced, with such sensitivity that I was breathless - in fact I was in tears at some points.

It's not rushed or forced. It reminds me of the production of Matt Redman's album Intimacy - not for style, but for the amazing artistry of songwriter and producer in total flow together.

What I love most is the subject matter. It's not easy or simple, black and white love songs or faith songs. These are songs about the completixties, the grey areas, the things that make us ask questions of what we believe.

I can't say how much this album means to me as it's only been in my ears for relatively few days, but it has made a mark on my heart, there's no doubt about that.

It is going to be one I will return to again and again and again and again.... drawing me to a deeper place and exposing the fragility of emotion that we can all bury behind layers of coping, calling it maturity.

If you need something to do in the midst of snow and uncertainty: give these songs a real listen.

Stop whining (and change your life)

I can't tell you how much this resonated with me:

Two problems with whining

The first is that it doesn't work. You can whine about the government or your friends or your job or your family, but nothing will happen except that you'll waste time.

Worse... far worse... is that whining is a reverse placebo. When you get good at whining, you start noticing evidence that makes your whining more true. So you amplify that and immerse yourself in it, thus creating more evidence, more stuff worth complaining about.

If you spent the same time prattling on about how optimistic you are, you'd have to work hard to make that true...

What we fix our eyes on is ultimately what we become, and the sooner we stop blaming situations for the reality of our present, the sooner we can get on with making a difference.

Sound fanciful and un-realistic or suspiciously like truth that we can all benefit from living by?

PS - words came from Seth Godin, here.

On such a day as this eleven years ago...

Eleven years ago, just about now, Jenny and I were climbing into the back of a car (driven by my brother-in-law, Graham) and heading off on honeymoon.

Eleven years ago today, Jenny and I got married, looking a little like this and completely unaware of what lay ahead for us.

Eleven years ago today, Jenny and I left our old experiences of our families behind and became a new part of the same families.

Eleven years ago, I cried saying my vows and later a wedding toast that makes me shudder to remember how poor it was (I'm grateful that YouTube wasn't around back then...!).

Eleven years ago, my Nokia 5110 was pretty cutting edge...and now I'm typing this on an iPad! Crazyness.

Eleven years ago, Jenny and I committed ourselves to each other and a lifelong journey of supporting each other through the highs and carrying each other through the lows.

Eleven years ago, Jenny and I might have strained to believe that we'd have had so many wonderful experiences in life, work and home.

Eleven years ago, Jenny and I may have struggled to think that we'd have such a tremendous weeWeir, that Jenny would be a Midwife and i'd get to do whatever it is I do for a living. We'd have been confident of having such great friends and loving family though. ;->

Tomorrow, year twelve of our great adventure together begins as the journey continues.

You are part of that journey, and we're glad that (most) of you are in it with us. For those who have helped us get this far, we are grateful. For those who are still with us now, thank you. For those who've just joined the fun, welcome.

C'mon, Mrs theWeir...let's go...

Memories

There's often talk about parents building memories fortheir children. While I think that is valuable, I'm thinking that many of the memories we've built with the weeWeir have done us as much, or more good than they have for her.

I'm thinking about when we had a few nights away last month and she wouldn't settle to sleep on our first night. We tried our usual arsenal of tricks, but nothing worked. Eventually, after four hours we out her in the car and she was asleep in seconds. Literally seconds.

Literally.

I look back and find it completely fine, cute, understandable and all that. At the time, it was none of those things.

What did I learn from that memory? What do I need to leave behind from that memory?

I learned that the moment can be hard to separate from the context. That being away from home a few weeks after you move to a new home is pretty unsettling for a weeWeir. And that being awake until midnight one night will result in no problems the following night.

I learned that getting worked up by the lack of sleeping child is understandable but almost as futile as the lack of sleep itself. It's part of the process and next time, we'll try the car about three hours earlier in the process...

It would be easy to jump to a conclusion that we should never go away from home again, or never try and get the weeWeir to sleep in a strange bed. But that's not the real memory.

We had a great holiday and learned some new stuff about going away from home when you have a small person involved.

Have you ever been there? What are your memories telling you?

Reason for reaction

Isn't it interesting how our first reactions reveal a lot.

When I feel accused of something, or that I need to defend my position, it's normal that my reaction will be "no..." followed by a rationale, reasons or circumstances that at extra context to the actions or words I feel are being confronted.

It's almost like I am looking for someone to blame. That it can't possibly be my fault. Or at least if it is then there's good reason (ahem: excuse!)

But so often the person we are dealing with is wrong. ;-p

How can we be gracious in our interactions? Or is that not important? Sometimes people aren't interested in a gracious, respectful conversation. Maybe that's not worth the effort.

Maybe there's a better way to respond, even when we are right. Maybe I should be more appreciative that people actually listen! Maybe there's room to say thank you for pointing that out.

Clearly there's a need to be truthful and honest. But there's a power in deferring to another out of respect and (dare I say) love.

Lots of questions today. Got any thoughts?

Blink is an interesting book on the topic too. Particularly about the source of our instant responses.

Amen, Daddy

Yesterday, the weeWeir got herself all upset over something. I wasn't in the room at the time, and I'm not sure what the *something* was.

Crying, she came running to find me, saying "Daddy" and other words I couldn't quote interpret at the pace and insistence she was using. Kneeling on the floor, I asked her why she was crying.

"Daddy...[insert toddler ramblings here]" was the response. But I knew it wasn't my fault.

"Where is is sore, I asked".

Same reply.

As I held her and she calmed down, I listened again. "Amen, Daddy". It made a little more sense now.

Since before she was born, Jenny and I have prayed with the weeWeir. Before bed for sure, but at other times too. Particularly if she had hurt herself or was unsettled. That and singing with her.

So as I knelt with her on the floor, I prayed a few simple words asking Father to come with Grace & Peace in Jesus name.

An "amen" from Beth (yes, I used her name which is unusual) and she was calm.

A lot of thoughts on the back of this precious moment, which I'll unpack soon, but what's your view. Yes you. Add a comment and share your thoughts.

There are lessons here for all of us

At the weekend, I dropped my HTC Desire from my hand and onto the ground. This was the result:

There were no tears, but it took a moment or two to overcome the temptation to "blame" somebody. In the end, it's just something that happened to a thing. Not the end of the world. Not even close.

Especially as I'm still able to use the thing...

So, I'm thinking that life is about learning and wondering what lessons can we learn from this?

I'll start: don't hold your phone in the same hand you are using to open the car door.

Please join in - add your "lessons" in the comments!

You have reached your destination

"Really?", I ask.

"You have reached your destination" chimes the Satellite Navigation again.

"I think you're lying".

How often do we think we've made it. We've cracked it. We can do it.

Then we realise we're nowhere. Or at least not where we meant to be. And we have to re-adjust. I was thinking about the conflict of Maps and Satellite Navigation and GPS. Sat Nat works well when we need to get somewhere and don't have time, but maps let us understand where we're going and why we're taking certain routes.

For the past wee while I've been a little uneasy about work - what am I doing, is it fun (which is important, right?), do I enjoy being there. Just when we think we've arrived, we often find that there's much more to come.

The journey makes life interesting, the people we share the journey with are all the more important.

You share the journey with me and for that, I thank you.

Grace for the road.

W