Stop whining (and change your life)

I can't tell you how much this resonated with me:

Two problems with whining

The first is that it doesn't work. You can whine about the government or your friends or your job or your family, but nothing will happen except that you'll waste time.

Worse... far worse... is that whining is a reverse placebo. When you get good at whining, you start noticing evidence that makes your whining more true. So you amplify that and immerse yourself in it, thus creating more evidence, more stuff worth complaining about.

If you spent the same time prattling on about how optimistic you are, you'd have to work hard to make that true...

What we fix our eyes on is ultimately what we become, and the sooner we stop blaming situations for the reality of our present, the sooner we can get on with making a difference.

Sound fanciful and un-realistic or suspiciously like truth that we can all benefit from living by?

PS - words came from Seth Godin, here.

Authenticity: Slick

I like things done well, and I agree with Tom's clarion calls for Excellence.

However, slick is not always a good thing.

I think this post by Seth really captures what I am looking for.

"So I guess instead of slick we're now seeking transparency and reputation and guts."

Oh yes, we certainly are. And maybe, just maybe, the way we are behaving will become more and more authentic.

Read Seth's short musing here.

What do you think? How do you see it?

why don't you...?

One of the strongest memories I have of summer holidays from school is a TV programme called "why don't you...?". Do you remember it. It was usually on about 9.25 and it was on either BBC1 or 2. This was before the days of widespread multi-channel TV, kids.

In all honesty, the only thing I can really recall is the theme tune - and one particular lyric: "why don't you... just switch off your TV set and do something less boring instead". (you can see the whole title sequence here on the BBC site).

Just think. We, the viewer, were being invited to switch off the programme. Before it started. Now that wasn't the point of it. But it's something that's reverberated around my head for all the years since. Just switch off the TV and do something else. Sometimes, there's things worth watching, however it's very rarely that I'll put the TV on just to see what's on. So when reading what Seth had to say here and his reference to Clay Shirky's keynote on Cognitive Surplus, it reminded me of that song. And the invitation.

I think about what I do with an evening and often, as with many of us, it's doing things around the house, preparing for a future event or doing a book. While I might not feel like I'm working towards an MBA in my evenings, the time spent keeping the family in clean clothes or clearing up after myself (!) means there's more time for other things.

More recently, the acquisition of a Wii has brought a mix of entertainment and exercise into the house too. Which can't be bad.

Or can it?

I agree with Seth. My one caveat is the importance of rest. Finding the unforced rhythms of grace is so crucial. We can't run forever like we've got a limitless source of energy. We need rest. Not sloth. Just times of quiet, or space, or refreshing our senses.

What are you up to tonight?

Just Be It.

Two quotes that came via Seth Godin.

Contribute:

Arianna Huffington: "Self expression is the new entertainment, We never used to question why people sit on the couch for seven hours a day watching bad TV. Nobody ever asked, 'Why are they doing that for free?' We need to celebrate [this desire to contribute for free] rather than question it."

Focus:

Tim Cook at Apple: “This is the most focused company I know of, am aware of, or have any knowledge of... We say no to good ideas every day.” Cook then pointed out to analysts that every single product the company makes would fit on the single conference table in front of him. “And we had revenue last year of $40 billion".

Ties back to two thoughts Chris laid out nearly two years ago:

1) What are you here to do.

2) Just Be It.

(my paraphrase)

Look! Who's talking?

A few months ago, Seth wrote this:

Most people grow up with one and only one voice in our heads. It's the one that talks when we talk to ourselves. (If you have more than one voice, time to check in with a doctor). It's easy, then, to assume that this is the mind, that we have just one, one brain, one voice, one thing going on at a time.

We can demonstrate that this isn't actually true. There's the mind that gets nostalgic or excited at a photo or a smell or a sound. There's the mind that keeps us breathing. There's the mind that suddenly announces, "I'm hungry" after seeing a TV commercial. And most important to marketers and those that would change the status quo, there's the lizard brain, the mind that worries, particularly about survival, reproduction and rage.

When the plane lurches in turbulence, it's not your constantly running verbal mind that freaks out. It's the amygdala, the prehistoric brain stem (and the surrounding parts of the brain) that kick in. That kick leads the verbal mind to start a frightening monologue, but it was your brain stem that started it.

Marketing to just the rational mind makes no sense, because the rational mind almost never decides anything by itself. And managing your career or your day based on your irrational fears makes even less sense. Which part of your mind makes decisions about credit cards, personal security, relationships, job prospects and creativity?

As our jobs (and lives) get more cerebral and less physical, our misunderstandings about the mind (and the self-defeating miscalculations each of us make every day) become ever more important. Watch yourself for a day and start keeping store of 'who' is doing the talking and whether that part of the brain is working in your best interests or not.

What do you think? As people who have to face our doubts or be overcome, I think there's a lot of truth here.

What? No and Thank You.

A few weeks ago, I made reference to some car-related challenges we were facing.

The weekend just passed, we collected our repaired car.

It felt like a real struggle to get resolution to this situation, and I won't go into the minutiae of the full story, but there were three significant events:

1. the car broke down with an almost identical fault that was repaired while under warranty in December. Jenny was headed home with the weeWeir at the time of this happening.
2. the garage were claiming no responsibility as the car was now out of warranty - resulting in a quite heated phone conversation between Jenny and a service person at the garage.
3. the 2195 word email I sent to the Managing Director of the company - in which I gave the full story from when we bought the car in June 2009 until the moment the email was sent.

In the end, a few things happened. The car was repaired. We split the cost with the garage, which was a fair result (from our point of view, and hopefully from theirs!). We also learned that there's a lot of things that matter a LOT at the time, but in 100 years will have any impact?

I really don't like complaining. I don't think the world owes me anything and I'm certainly not convinced that everything should be perfect. In fact, I'd much rather take action by not using - or not recommending - a provider, product or service than by shouting and bawling about it. However, this time there was a clear sense of imbalance, and that's no good for anyone. My email wasn't abusive, vindictive or nasty (even if I do say so myself) but it stated what happened and why we felt let down. Our Mini Adventure was made possible by this company. They were *brilliant* at that time. Why not now?

Giving credit where it's due is important. The Managing Director of Eastern Holdings was absolutely first-class in the way he responded to my letter. I'll say it publicly, I would do business with their group again. I might not go back to the original garage, but I have confidence that their business is being run in the right way. Thank you, Mr Brown & your colleagues who helped get this sorted.

Funnily enough, I read this by Seth Godin today. He makes the valid point about the use (or not) of *but* when prefacing a complaint.

Read his post and see what you think.