Stop writing and go to sleep

I emailed myself last night.

I wanted to write a few words to backdate a blip.

I started this when I was in bed, ready for sleep.

This is what I sent:

This wee treat was waiting for me when I got home tonight.

When we were on holiday, the weeWeir had borrow the Catnsrrzqw

I have no idea what I was thinking. I will stop doing that. And sleep.

Memories

There's often talk about parents building memories fortheir children. While I think that is valuable, I'm thinking that many of the memories we've built with the weeWeir have done us as much, or more good than they have for her.

I'm thinking about when we had a few nights away last month and she wouldn't settle to sleep on our first night. We tried our usual arsenal of tricks, but nothing worked. Eventually, after four hours we out her in the car and she was asleep in seconds. Literally seconds.

Literally.

I look back and find it completely fine, cute, understandable and all that. At the time, it was none of those things.

What did I learn from that memory? What do I need to leave behind from that memory?

I learned that the moment can be hard to separate from the context. That being away from home a few weeks after you move to a new home is pretty unsettling for a weeWeir. And that being awake until midnight one night will result in no problems the following night.

I learned that getting worked up by the lack of sleeping child is understandable but almost as futile as the lack of sleep itself. It's part of the process and next time, we'll try the car about three hours earlier in the process...

It would be easy to jump to a conclusion that we should never go away from home again, or never try and get the weeWeir to sleep in a strange bed. But that's not the real memory.

We had a great holiday and learned some new stuff about going away from home when you have a small person involved.

Have you ever been there? What are your memories telling you?

Sleep | Habits

Habits are great. Habits are the *worst* thing ever.

Last week, wasn't the best for the weeWeir and sleeping. While Jenny bore the brunt of that, it impacted us both. But let's be clear. It hit Jenny much more than me.

That said, I found myself on Thursday morning, en route to work, thinking that I could either shrink into the corner, be unproductive and generally sleep through the *working* day, saying "I'm knackered" and "here's why" as an excuse.

Or I would acknowledge that I need more energy, but I'll do my best. I'd be able to do more than survive the day, but be able to enjoy these (albeit slightly fuzzy) moments of life.

And if it goes well, and good things come out of it, then that's good. I can't blame a lack of sleep for things going well, but I'm not going to blame that for things not going well!

the world is spinning faster....

make it stop!

Okay, maybe not literally, but I'd be quite happy if I learned my lesson, said *enough* and took it at a more manageable pace for a week or ten.

This week, I am mostly working my buns off at work, feeling pretty bad about not seeing J and babyB as much as I'd like and missing keeping aware of what's going on in the outside world.  It feels like I'm a cycle of sleep, wake, work, home, eat, sleep etc etc.  And that's not good.  For anyone.

Does anyone else feel that this year has simply got faster in the past four weeks?  It's not that long since our anniversary, a few weeks earlier, J's birthday and yet those seem like distant (fond) memories.

I want to sing that Randy Stonehill song and be done with it all.  "stop the world, I wanna get off".  Not forever, just to learn my lesson.  Anyone got the handbrake?